‘Zombie’ launches bid to become US President
In a publicity stunt for AMC’s The Walking Dead, a candidate has declared themselves eligible for the White House. The candidate, A. Zombie, announced his intention to run for the highest office in American government last week in San Diego, California.
A. Zombie, along with his running mate Noah Pulse, are on a six city tour of the United States. A. Zombie has announced various position platforms, including healthcare, education, and the environment. Each of the position plans contain numerous puns on the word ‘zombie’.
When Zombie was asked about health care he had this to say: “Aaaargh!” Patti Morgan-Zombie, his wife and campaign spokeswoman, had to translate for him.
“My husband says that health care is a very important issue to him, primarily because it’s almost impossible to get health care as a zombie,” she told HuffPost. “Even if you do get a policy, it carries a $10 million deductible. Last year, my husband had a hang nail and the co-payment was $85,000. That’s why he’s a proponent of ‘ZombieCare.'”
Other issues important to Zombies:
Voter ID Laws: “In this country, it’s one vote for each American, but when it comes to zombies, they can vote as many times as they want to. Who’s going to stop them?”
Immigration: “He doesn’t think [reforming immigration law] will affect zombies because zombies don’t carry identification any way. What differences does it make?”
Bath Salts (the street drug): “My husband is not exactly for bath salts. He had a very unfortunate incident with the real bath salts. They stung badly so it’s a subject he’d rather not get into.”
A. Zombie is not listed on any state’s ballot. The publicity stunt was created to raise awareness for The Walking Dead, on AMC, whose network has been booted from Dish Network. The promotion is intended to have customers contact Dish Network to demand AMC be returned to the satellite television service.
Any votes for Zombie will be write-in votes and invalid.